Farzaneh Ghadianloo

“Everything in Place”

I wake up with phone alarm. It’s noon and I have to eat before taking pills. I start to make coffee and it boils over before I finish taking a bath. I try over with lowest flame and stand by it. Mum calls and starts planning for sister’s birthday. I say I am busy and she offers to pick me up.

I put some dried mulberries into my mouth; draw the curtains and the immense sunshine pours onto my face. I unplug my phone from the charger. Again it gives alarm beep. I condition my wet hair and sing “Gejalar fikrinnan yatabilmiram” in front of the mirror. I start to remember crooning it while you were grilling fish, and you told me how much you loved my voice. I am close to tears when Saba Video calls. I ignore the call. The coffee boils over a second time and I pour it into the cup and sip it patiently under the sun. I take a pack of Fesenjan out of the fridge and soak some rice. I change my mind and put a chicken fillet out of the fridge; wash some mushrooms and remember that I have run out of cream. I return the fillet and spot a sour cherry ice cream. I tie my still wet hair and wear a quick lipstick and call Saba. Friends are making pizza. She says “Come along.”  Everybody here. I say I am busy. And she offers to pick me up. I throw yesterday’s lunch for the birds and message mum not to come please. I devour the deformed ice cream and take my pill. I add some ice into my beer and get to watch the first part of the serial that I have been supposed to watch for years. Hours pass and I get up with a hurting neck and make a mask from the only grapefruit left. Its smell fills the house. I play Rising from Lhasa and dance to it with you. I pick the phone and post the picture sent by Saba on single-membered close friends. I put on my floral shirt, wear blue eye shadow and order a snapp.  All the way I write down a list of my house stuff to post on Divar(.ir) I message my landlord telling him I have to move out early. I reach to balloon game and while my sister is blowing out her 36th birthday candles I start visualizing my new house where “Everything is in place -except you.”